Stephen Miller—America’s most punchable fascist larva—is reportedly the top candidate to replace Mike Waltz as National Security Adviser. Waltz is heading off to the UN, presumably to learn what vowels are. In his place? The architect of family separation. The guy who gets nostalgic for 1798. The smirking gargoyle who once said:
“If you illegally invaded our country the only process you are entitled to is deportation.”
— Stephen Miller, April 1, 2025
This is not a drill. The man who thinks the Statue of Liberty needs a dress code might soon have the launch codes.
NATIONAL SECURITY, DESIGNED BY A BEDBUG IN A BOWTIE
Miller isn’t just Trump’s loyal footstool. He’s the guy who trained the footstools. He’s been running point on the most deranged elements of Trumpworld’s second coming: militarizing ICE, reviving Civil War-era laws, and suing the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court because the courts keep telling him “no.”
He doesn’t dream of power to serve. He dreams of power to punish. And his Homeland Security roadmap looks like it was scribbled in blood and Red Bull on the back of a deportation order.
Plans already floated under Miller’s guidance include:
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Invoking the Alien Enemies Act (a law from 1798, last seriously used during WWII)
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Expanding 287(g) to deputize local cops as mini-ICE squads
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Deploying the National Guard to hunt down undocumented immigrants
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Litigating the judiciary into submission, including suing John Roberts to make the courts easier to override
This isn’t a conservative agenda. It’s cosplay fascism with a legal budget.
“INTELLIGENCE?” ONLY IF IT COMES FROM SEAN HANNITY’S MOUTH
Miller once demanded that Fox News fire its pollster—on live TV—because the numbers weren’t flattering enough to Trump. That’s who he is: a man who treats data like it just insulted his tie. Now imagine him with access to CIA briefings.
He doesn’t trust intelligence agencies. He trusts vibes and rage. He doesn’t read memos—he snorts grievance like it’s crushed-up Sudafed. And when he doesn’t like the facts, he changes the channel until Sean Hannity gives him a bedtime story.
If this guy is in charge of cybersecurity, expect him to launch an airstrike over a bad tweet.
FOREIGN POLICY BY A SCARED MAN IN A MIRROR
Miller’s worldview is binary: loyal or enemy. He doesn’t understand diplomacy, nuance, or restraint. He understands retribution. If Canada misgenders Ronald Reagan, expect trade sanctions.
His foreign policy strategy is basically a tantrum in a trench coat:
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Pull out of alliances
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Threaten war over minor insults
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Use immigration as a bludgeon
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Reward autocrats who flatter Trump
If you’re not a white nationalist dictator, you’re on thin ice. And even then, Miller might drone you if your haircut offends him.
A MAN WHO THINKS DUE PROCESS IS A DEEP STATE HOAX
Stephen Miller views the Constitution the way a termite views a front porch: delicious and in the way. He wants a government where executive orders override laws, ICE outranks Congress, and anyone with a hyphenated last name is a security threat.
His lawsuit against the Chief Justice? Real. His desire to purge federal agencies? Documented. His legal group, America First Legal, is actively trying to dismantle judicial review, gut civil liberties, and turn the DOJ into a MAGA sword.
This isn’t law and order. It’s law and obedience. And if you resist, he’ll try to have your citizenship revoked for not liking Kid Rock.
THE ENDGAME IS VENGEANCE, NOT SECURITY
Stephen Miller doesn’t want to defend America. He wants to remake it—in his own image: bitter, scared, and ash-white.
The empathy void. The policy ghoul. The guy who sneezes and three toddlers get deported. That’s who’s knocking on the door to national security power.
Letting him in isn’t a risk. It’s an extinction-level decision.
WAKE THE FUCK UP
You cannot let this mouthbreathing gargoyle from hell’s HR department seize control of the Pentagon’s levers. He’s not a public servant. He’s a zealot with a vendetta. A feral elf with a legal pad full of war crimes he hasn’t gotten to yet.
Stephen Miller is not here to keep America safe. He is here to turn it into a fortress, purge it of anything brown, bilingual, or benevolent, and crown himself Minister of the Finger Wag.
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